The world I never knew ....

Before we lost Averil to AN, my world was carefree. i thought i understood how the world worked and what i was about.

But i knew nothing really.

i didnt know or understand what pain and suffering was. 

Only after Averil's death did my life change. i often woke at night from crying in my sleep, and my every thought was of the futile and tragic loss of a wonderful life. A life that had offered so much to so many.

The physical pain of loss was unbearable. It felt as if my soul had been wrenched from my insides and with it had taken away every last breath, every last free spirited and happy thought.

i was left empty. 

Instinctively i knew how Averil's family and friends were suffering .

Gradually i began to also understand a little of the wider pain and suffering of others.

Averil has brought us both the greatest of joys in life and also the darkest possible moments. Now she is bringing me towards understanding.

Every day people are fighting for their loved ones with AN and ED's and every day individuals like Averil are fighting a personal battle to live their lives in "freedom".

No day will ever be without Averil.

Nic 02/08/2014